Lush For Life, the Internet’s premiere site for all things bold, comedic, original, and fake, is taking one more shot at arch-rival TheOnion by jumping head-first into the unknown and oversaturated market of newsprint.
Beginning in January, you will be able to pick up a copy of this fine publication at local hot spots and dives in the Tampa Bay area - for FREE!
The overwhelming cry from the public for Lush For Life to go into print is a long time coming, as college students and businessmen alike have sent us heaps of email expressing their want of us to be available in a much more natural form, such as recycled newspaper pulp.
“It’s easier that way,” said University of South Florida student Billy Grant in one of his dozens of emails to us, imploring that we print. “I use my computer for pr0n, and Lush For Life has been impeding that for over a year, now.”
The paper will officially be released on January 12 at The Crowbar in Ybor city, in conjunction with the Slanted Synergy Art Show for Untalented Youths.
We welcome all inquiries about the move, and encourage anyone who is interested in advertising with us to shoot an email to: sales@lushforlife.com.
Our initial run, as stated earlier, will be located in and around the Tampa Bay area, but look for it in the Gainesville and Orlando markets within the next six months and, baring any setbacks (i.e., lack of advertising), we will be in a city near you, no matter where you may reside, in the next 1-2 years.
Wish us luck (as if we need it) and pray for our success. If this doesn’t work, it’s on your hands, bub.