Jan 11th, 2006
HEAVEN - The American Christian community was shocked, yesterday, at a press release issued from New Jerusalem. God’s spokesperson issued a statement coming out strongly against Intelligent Design. The release stated that The Lord Our God and his board of directors were finally sick and tired of being insulted by the idea that they would [...]
Dec 14th, 2005
LAS VEGAS – The autopsy results following God’s improbable assassination in Dubuque, Iowa, earlier this year has revealed startling answers involving an unsolved murder that occurred in 1974 in Branson, Missouri.
Nov 2nd, 2005
NASHVILLE – A spokesman for Gideons International Christian charity said in a press conference yesterday from Nashville, Tennessee, that the charity is releasing a new translation of The Bible, entitled The New Bro-Bible. The decision to release a new version of the age-old religious text was driven from the Gideons’ desire to reach a much [...]
Oct 25th, 2005
LAS VEGAS – After several weeks of deliberation between Christian bureaucrats in Heaven and on Earth led to no conclusion, Jesus has decided to not appoint a new God himself; he will allow the people of both Earth and Heaven decide who the next Holy Redeemer will be in the form of a democratic vote.
Sep 22nd, 2005
NEW ORLEANS - Proving that the differences between the various segments of humanity are not really so significant in the wake of great tragedy, extremist religious nut jobs from across the entire spectrum of fairytale-based beliefs put aside their many differences to praise God’s decision to eradicate New Orleans. Extremist leaders of Christians, Muslims, and [...]
Sep 7th, 2005
NASHVILLE – Televangelist and religious figure-head Jim Bakker has applied for the God job opening in Heaven, which has remained vacant since God’s assassination while visiting Dubuque, Iowa on business last month. Bakker submitted the job application through his friend, Jesus, in the form of a prayer, and also via email to Heaven’s website (www.heaven.org), [...]
Aug 28th, 2005
Not since the Lord of the Rings trilogy, or even Star Wars, has a better figment of someone’s imagination made its way onto paper. Scientology is by far the best and most imaginative heap of nonsense I have ever heard in my entire life. I would put its caliber of creativity and sheer “wackoness“, if [...]