We’re going into print! Friday, January 12th 2007, Lush For Life will be distributing our first 20,000 copies of our new print edition. Come join us at the Crowbar in Ybor City (1812 17th Street) for music, fashion and of course, the best satirical comedy the world has ever seen, ever (ever). Don’t miss out Lush Progress (no relation) - the hottest new band in the bay area, and so many other bands that the price of admission is a steal - especially considering the paper is free! There will be free drinks, live music, beautiful women, hunky guys (us) and some of the funniest people you’ll ever meet, just hangin around waiting to talk to your drunk ass. So come on down!

Chimps welcome. Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/slantedsynergy

Lush For Life, the Internet’s premiere site for all things bold, comedic, original, and fake, is taking one more shot at arch-rival TheOnion by jumping head-first into the unknown and oversaturated market of newsprint.

Beginning in January, you will be able to pick up a copy of this fine publication at local hot spots and dives in the Tampa Bay area - for FREE!

HEAVEN - A recent visit to Heaven with LushForLife.com correspondent, and close confidant of mine Arthur Rocks proved to be a truly…enlightening…experience.

TAMPA - Because of a class action suit filed on Tuesday, the Internet’s premiere home of wit, wisdom, satire, and parody, LushForLife.com, is in danger of being wiped off the face of the planet, as multi-national corporate conglomerates, in conjunction with the White House and several elite sects of Afghani terrorists and ex-KGB officials, have alleged that the site has leaked valuable classified information regarding the existence of a multiverse, a vast collection of universes, making humankind and human achievement just that much more insignificant.

TAMPA - While on assignment at Tropicana Field in Tampa, Florida, covering the Tampa Bay Devil Rays v. Boston Red Sox baseball game for a local sports affiliate on Saturday, the entire senior writing staff of LushForLife.com were forcefully ejected following crude behavior, obnoxious outbursts, and overall drunken debauchery.